A Secret Spiritual Scottish Vow Renewal

Written by Victoria Burnham

Ok, so I’m being a wee bit dramatic, it wasn’t a secret location, but it was in the most magical and beautiful location, a wee piece of lost history just ootside Aberfeldy. If you take a left up a single track road then a walk up a muddy path just off a grumpy farmers yard, you will discover a wee Scottish gem, called ‘St Mary’s Church’. I'm not going to spoil it but if you ever go there, you will be treated to an unexpected treasure!

Last December I was asked by a local tour operator to conduct a Vow Renewal for a wonderful American couple who were regular clients of his. It was originally supposed to be a surprise for the bride but after a few emails back and forth across the pond our bride got wind of the plans, which I was quite pleased about as I could get some more information from them to put together their ceremony. Now I’m not going to lie, these guys were so laid back and easy going that I hardly got any personal information from them, but after a quick Google, a blether with the tour guide who was also their friend and a covert ‘stalk’ on Facebook, I found out a bit about the business they owned and how they came together. My groom was a larger than life Texan, a big chap with a deep connection to his Scottish heritage, so this was like honey in my lug, this meant I had carte balance to throw as much Spiritual and Celtic Rites & Rituals into the pot as I could… and I did!

When they arrived at said church there was a dusting of snow, my groom was splendid in full kilt attire, and my bride was in a beautiful green velvet dress, and I just so happened to have a red velvet cloak for her (I mean, twas meant to be!) and as they were piped up the hill I draped the cloak over her shoulders and led them into the church.

Think ‘Outlander’!

I was aware that although this was a sacred space, it was also a cold and empty space, so I had thought ahead knowing I had to create an ‘altar’ of sorts, to bring some magic. Luckily it was just after Christmas, so I basically brought all my Christmas decorations and a tonne of fairy lights and candles. (always check if your allowed real candles for ceremony) and Bobs your Uncle a beautiful ceremony space was created.

Now, I know I jest but, in all seriousness, there is a HUGE difference between just ‘set dressing’ and bringing objects and items that hold significant meaning and energy. In amongst my festive decorations and battery fairy lights, I had elements woven throughout that help to ground me, my couples, cleanse the space and build positive vibes. I am always very conscious of our ancestral connections, inviting in our ancestors and honouring those we have loved and lost is something I try to incorporate into ceremony, (only if my couples are comfortable with this) just because they no longer walk with us in the physical doesn’t mean they should miss out on our big threshold moments in this life, and if you think about it, they possibly had quite a bit to do with why your standing with your true love preparing to make your vows in the first place.

For this particular ceremony, we used some ‘Auld Scots’ poetry, a Candle Ceremony, to remember those lost to us and to invite them to step forward, a handfasting ritual (using the clan tartans from my grooms family embroidered with their names and the date of the ceremony) a Quaich Ceremony (a wee dram) all woven together with their personal story and how and why they found themselves standing before each other preparing to reaffirm their marriage vows.

My wonderful couple were completely invested in every moment, we laughed we cried and of course we shared a dram, it was so beautiful, we all felt as if we were being ‘held’ by something much greater and ‘otherworldly’. They even jumped the ‘Besom’ (Broom) at the end, stepping into their new chapter together.

The funny thing was, was that they had tried to get Blair Castle to open for a couple of hours to hold the ceremony in one of their formal rooms, which would have been gorgeous but I don’t think we could have created the same atmosphere, we went right back to the basics, stone floors and walls, no natural light from windows and a door you had to stoop to get through. And not forgetting that the space, although no longer used for regular ceremony has held and bore witness to countless rituals and ceremonies over the few hundred years it has stood and probably before then on the very land itself! It had its own special energy that was looking after us on that day.

But please remember ceremony doesn’t have to have all the bells and whistles, we just went for it for that day, it didn’t feel contrived, and it flowed. Sometimes the simplest ceremonies have the greater depth and meaning, it is that one sacred moment when you come together, look into each other’s eyes as if you are the only two people in the universe and declare your love for each other, that’s what really brings true magic to your ceremony. Just be you…But a wee dram helps too! Slange!