Student in Training - Holding & Letting Go

A blog by Fleur Hoole – 25^th March 2026

Before our 3^rd training weekend began, I took a short walk to stretch my legs and focus my intentions for our time together. I was stopped by this scene – underneath the majestic light of the morning sun, with the boat grounded on the shore now filled with greenery and heathers which echo how my heart, soul and celebrancy work is also growing.  In the background a boat had its engine running in preparation for future trips across the loch, aptly reflecting my own situation, currently moored quietly as I learn, explore and prepare for my future as a ceremonialist with Rites and Rituals Scotland. 

And so, filled with the light of the sun and a sense of hope I stepped into our training weekend.  Our work was guided by the spirit of summer, and even through the changeable weather we celebrated its warmth, the sense of love and passion it evokes, and the spark of creative energy that sunny days so often inspire.

Our summer inspired practice ceremonies included a love-filled vow renewal and a celebratory graduation ceremony, which were both wonderful opportunities to explore and deepen our ceremony planning and use of rituals and to be inspired and learn from each other. Alongside this, we enjoyed several practical sessions designed to extend and challenge our thinking, practices and skills as ceremonialists.  

As I look back on the weekend, I keep returning to the themes of holding and letting go - holding presence, intention and connection, while gently releasing my tendencies toward over‑thinking, over‑preparation and the need for control. These reflections feel important for my own growth, and I feel that balancing these will be essential when walking alongside, and supporting couples and families.

As I consider what this balance might look like in practice, I’m realising how important it is to support and accompany couples and families as they discover heartfelt ways to express their intentions for their ceremony. Walking with them in this way allows their vision to take shape - including the mood they hope to create, the stories they wish to share, and the deeper meaning of this threshold moment in their lives.

One of the practices that brought this idea of holding and letting go into sharp focus was being asked to welcome the guests and set the tone and intention for a ceremony without a script.  My instinct has led me to hold on tightly to carefully worded scripts which give a reassuring sense of control, but as I quickly discovered, this also keeps me from fully stepping into the moment. Once I’d taken a little time to ground myself, open the space for spirit, and truly connect with the guests, I felt how powerful it is to begin a ceremony from the heart and soul, instead of hiding behind a script. Expressing the central purpose and intentions in this way definitely creates a deeper sense of connection and meaning for everyone involved.

Throughout the weekend, both in our practice ceremonies and our conversations about walking alongside couples and families, I became increasingly aware of the importance of holding my connection to the Sacred with my focus in the present moment. This balance helps me remain responsive as conversations or events unfold.  I am very aware that this is a work in progress for me, as I learn to let go of planning my answers in advance so I can truly listen, and to slow down so that actions, words and rituals can land with the significance and reverence they deserve.

Although deep and challenging at times, our training time together was also abundantly filled with the laughter, chatter and open-hearted warmth of the Rites and Rituals community. I feel deeply held by the team, and this generosity of spirit allows me to let go of insecurities and anxiety so that I can show up as my unapologetically authentic self as I continue to learn, grow and develop as a spiritual and creative person and celebrant.

Like the boat on the shore in the photograph, my mind, heart and soul now hold a glowing, growing sense of my spiritual centre, the warmth of my connections within this community, and a clearer vision of how my work can be intentionally shaped and led from the heart. At the same time, I feel myself beginning to cast off from my moorings - letting go of doubts about my worth and embracing the excitement and joy of what lies ahead as I steer my boat of loving hopes and dreams into new waters on this amazing, life‑affirming training adventure.