Thinking the best of humanity: naivety or a luxury?

Written by Marion Gilloolly

It’s easy to feel despondent about humanity in these days where we are witnessing horrific suffering, famine, war, human rights violations, corruption and the demise of democracy as we in the west have known and taken for granted for generations. I’ve always had a natural inclination to think the best of people, which might be seen as naïve against the backdrop of these man-made horrors. And yet, I still believe in the inherent goodness of humanity.

I’m in a hugely privileged position to share some of the best life experiences with people. Young and not so young couples making their solemn vows of marriage – to love, respect, support and be kind to each other for as long as they live. Meeting those couples is a joyful experience, as I share in their excitement for a happy future together. I love hearing their stories about how they met, sometimes hating each other at first sight, how their relationship developed, funny stories about what they love about each other (and the things that get on each other’s nerves) and what made them decide to make the commitment to get married.

I had the pleasure of leading a vow renewal ceremony recently for a couple who have been married for 40 years. They wanted to spend the day with their closest family members, to create memories of a happy occasion that their loved ones will cherish for many years to come. They promised to keep loving each other through good times and bad, and to be the source of unconditional love for their children and grandchildren, always. It was a short ceremony; a reminder of the vows they made all those years ago, and their shared experiences of joy, laughter, grief, stress, exasperation, love and affection. The highlight of the ceremony came when their five grandchildren, aged between three and sixteen, each gave their blessings and messages of love to their Nanny and Papa.

Funerals too, are often uplifting ceremonies, and it is a huge honour to meet with families, spending time with them learning about their deceased loved one, their passions and achievements, and what they meant to the people in their lives. Sometimes the ceremony focuses on the hopes and dreams that parents had for a child, or the silly things a sister or brother did that endeared them to the family. Often, it's a time to reflect on the lessons that person taught those who knew them. Of course, there is the grief and sadness that accompanies loss, but usually smiles and gentle laughter too (sometimes uproarious laughter).

In every society, marking the significant events of life is part of the rhythm of life, helping us appreciate what it is to be human; to connect with others; to love and be loved. I don’t underestimate how precious it is to live in a part of the world where these rites and rituals can still be celebrated in safety, and without fear of repression or reprisal.

So, when I talk to people and share my experiences of being a ceremonialist, I am mindful of how fortunate I am to witness the best of humanity. Far too many people in this world don’t have that luxury.