Graduation Blog: Acceptance

Written by Gordon Smith

A lot has happened in the week since our wonderful and moving graduation ceremony. A lot has happened in the four months since my three student chums, and I, embarked on a journey to a destination that each had a slightly different picture of.

In this past week though there has also been a lot of attention and discussion around the Supreme Court judgement that a woman is defined by biological sex, under equalities law.

You’ll be pleased to hear, I’ll stray no further into that topic, nor offer opinion, but it did make me think about acceptance, and drew me back to Rites and Rituals Scotland; from my initial awareness of its existence to becoming a graduate of the first training programme.

I’ve been a celebrant for four years now and am blessed in that it’s a role that brings me in contact with some truly remarkable people.

I’ve conducted a number of Wedding Celebrations and loved each one. I confess though that I’d always been mildly frustrated that I couldn’t offer these couples, and others, a legal marriage ceremony.

I knew there were routes I could follow that would allow me to perform marriage ceremonies but knew too, that my values didn’t align with those stated by any of the belief-based organisations offering training and membership. And then……

The stars aligned (other spiritual metaphors are available) and I became aware of Rites and Rituals Scotland and a set of values and beliefs I could hitch my wagon to. But would I be accepted?

I’ve talked before about how good the application process was; allowing both R&R and I to decide I was a good fit, so won’t go over that again, but my next challenge was fitting in with, or being accepted by, the class, fellow students and tutors alike.

Of course, the application process meant that, broadly, we were all like-minded, but we had all arrived from different starting points, with differing backgrounds. That and I was the only bloke!

I needn’t have worried though. Despite the obvious, and common, first day nerves I was accepted. Perhaps because I too was accepting. Who knows? But what was clear from the outset was that each of us was comfortable being, and true to, ourselves and at ease with those around us.

As the weeks have progressed, we have learned more about each other; our similarities, and our differences, and been relaxed in the knowledge that we have different levels of “faith” yet common values, principles, and standards. Yes, we have more in common than that which sets us apart.

The graduation ceremony brought that into sharp focus as we each, in turn, learned what the others thought appreciated about us. It was largely that which made us different. It was humbling, and incredibly moving, to see ourselves through the eyes of five others who had come to know us better than we could have imagined. Others who accepted us, for what and who we are.

There are many dictionary definitions of acceptance, but I’ve come to learn over these past few weeks it is more to do with open-mindedness than approval.

Thank you, Class of ’25. For your kind hearts, and your open minds.