Student Voices - Connection

By Helen Parker

 I am writing this just a few days after our 3rd weekend at Rites and Rituals Celebrant Training. 

I cannot believe that the time has passed so quickly since that first weekend back in January, where we were all virtual strangers to each other. As well as  the depth of our own personal growth and development,  the way we have bonded as a group   during these past 3 months has been pretty special.

 The Big Shed, between Killin and Aberfeldy has been the perfect backdrop for our shared journey.     Set in beautiful countryside, we have witnessed the landscape change from winter to spring.   In the years to come , I will look on the Big Shed as the “spiritual home “ of Rites and Rituals Scotland.   A sanctuary for us all .  It was here we   learned so much about ourselves , what makes us the unique people that we are and finding joy in our shared purpose.    The laughs , tears and support for each other as we share our beliefs,   vulnerabilities,   talents and our hopes for the future .  And of course, the shared purpose of crafting ceremonies and holding space for our couples and families.

We spent a half hour in silence on Saturday morning and I chose to take a walk in solitude, before sitting down , overlooking Loch Tay and reflecting in my journal.   I wrote about how “ perfectly imperfect” our surroundings were.  The clouds scudding above, in various shades of dappled grey; the hills surrounding us craggy and irregularly shaped, and even the white horse in the field next to us was ungroomed, yet still noble and stunning. Even the land immediately adjacent to us contained a variety of rickety  huts and outbuildings, a horsebox   that has seen better days and a makeshift firepit.  And even an old bathtub.  And yet , it was all so breathtakingly beautiful. I suppose this is a perfect analogy of life.  No one is perfect, nor should we strive to be. Our perceived flaws are what make us the beautiful souls that we  all are.

 There was so much to learn this weekend, including each of us having the opportunity to deliver our marriage ceremonies. I have to confess to feeling pretty nervous, as I was conscious that I was doing so in front of 2 of the best celebrants out there , Lindy and Victoria , and also to my 3 fellow students who are all so talented and inspirational.   However, the support and suggestions for improvement was invaluable and will help strengthen my practice in future.

One of the most profound parts of the weekend was the connection exercise where we spoke about the threads that connected us.   As we stood, eyes closed facing each other, you could truly sense the roots that we had all individually grown , keeping us grounded, but also at the same time reaching out and invisibly supporting each other, reminding us of the power of connection and the importance of community.  And of course, our connection with the universe and with nature.

We also reflected on the changing seasons, not just of the year itself, but also the seasons of our lives.   For me, while chronologically in late summer, (Ok autumn!)  spiritually I feel more attuned to spring, as I continue to explore my spirituality and what that means to me as an individual , and also in my work with my couples and families.

 And on a lighter note, we enjoyed dinner and a few wee glasses of wine together on the Saturday night, where the banter was truly on point.   The kind that you only feel comfortable sharing with really good friends.  And for once, I didn’t miss losing an hour in bed when the clocks went forward. 

 Although there’s a wee part of me that wishes it was January and I could do it all over again,  I know I’ll continue to both give and receive support and encouragement as part of this truly wonderful community .  Something which will in turn enrich the ceremonies we are able to  offer to our couples and families.

Next stop graduation.