Student Voices: What Did You Expect?

By Fiona Winchester

Weekend 3 of Rites and Rituals training was a big one. We were each to deliver our marriage ceremonies, to show that we are aware of the requirements that are to be met to perform a legal marriage here in Scotland.

An exciting task, which if achieved, means we are nearing the end of this stage of our journey. But a nerve wracking one too. After all the learning, the work, the anticipation. While being a Rites and Rituals celebrant is about more than solemnising marriages, it is one of the most integral elements.

To have the honour of performing a little bit of magic. A wedding ceremony combining all the elements of ritual and spirituality that a couple may desire and will be legally binding with the blessing of the National Records of Scotland. Not something to be taken lightly.

And as I prepared for this weekend, my husband – with whom I had my own magical wedding ceremony almost 13 years ago – was trying to talk me through some of my nerves. Reminding me that these were ‘good’ nerves. Those that my dad always told me as a little girl, made you perform better.

And when I explained the enormity of the feelings I was having about the task that lay ahead, he asked me quite simply: “What did you expect?”

A very good question. I had always known what an enormous responsibility we were on the cusp of being handed. But until I actually prepared to carry it out, I don’t think I really realised what my expectations were. Whatever they were, I don’t know that I expected the sheer beauty of the ceremonies I watched play out this weekend.

Or expected to witness so much growth in my friends and colleagues.

Or the power of the rituals incorporated into each of their ceremonies, from handfasting, to the caim, drinking from the quaich or exchanging vows over the oathing stone. All ancient traditions that we will be able to pass onto couples going forward.

But most of all, I didn’t expect the strength of emotion I felt as I began saying the words of my own ceremony. Mapping out the moments of what will be one of the biggest days in two people’s lives. Albeit these particular people were fictional and for now, the ceremony was as well.

But what was not lost on me was just how soon, hopefully, this will change. The couple standing before me, will in fact be entering into a lifelong contract. And I will be the lucky person helping them to do that.

So, what did I expect. Just as in my own marriage ceremony all those years ago, I didn’t expect the unique feeling created, as I had never experienced anything like it before.

And when I am fortunate enough, I expect to again be blown away by the moment when I ask a question and two people before me say I do.